Sunday, 2 August 2009

BROKEN - by Col Bury

My latest piece of flash fiction for your pleasure over at Thrillers, Killers N Chillers. Click on the title above and feel free to let me know what you think.
Col

2 comments:

Col Bury said...

This story was an entry into June's One Word Challenge where it was up against about 20 other stories. It didn't win, but like all writers I was pleased with the feedback it received.
I've left the names out, but I didn't write these myself - honest!

'I liked the direct delivery on this, and the clever use of a circular structure to tell the story of one man’s life mirroring that of his father. Again, it’s nice to see the use of rhythmic sentences together with short bursts of repetition within the narrative. It’s well structured.'

'Bloody hell, nice work, moment of inspiration at the witching hour?'

'Ooh, very moving, Col. It was great the first time - the second read through is even better. Terrific stuff. Good luck with it.'

'Good one, Col.'

'Col, just enough detail, no wasted words. Unrelenting. I hoped for a bit of optimism at the end - that you might indicate that he wouldn't use the gun. You left it open and the theme is 'broken' so I suppose....
Might be the winner, Col.
good luck, mate.'

'Hey, just wanted to send you a whisper, as I didn't have time before the competition ended, to say how much I loved your story, it was just brilliant, just like poetry. I really thought you were going to win this month, especially since it feels like I always whisper you to comment on your story. Lee's was brilliant as well though, but I'd definitely put you as runner up at least, I couldn't get your story out of my head for the rest of the night after reading it.'

Thanks to all (the cheques are in the post!).
Col

Col Bury said...

It was actually July's OWC (DOH!) and those comments are all from fellow writers so means a lot to me. I forgot to say Congrats' to my writing friend, Lee Hughes, who won the competition in what was a very tough month.